Thoughts I've Left Behind
by DrunkYouthProdigiesAssociation
Summary: He has defeated the Dark Lord, but his world has shattered around him. He feels as if he is responsible for creating havoc and not being able to save everyone. So what does he do? He makes himself even more depressed! R&R, this took a lot out of me! Enj


A Long Dirt Road

Thought's I've Left Behind

A/N: I know I'm horrible, and I am very sorry, but school is just getting in the way a lot. Since I'm in a new school, the curriculum is new and much harder than my old one. I don't even want to mention Tracy's as she is in AP classes across the board. Though I'm in AP art, which I'm happy about! :D

This is something I actually got an idea for in art and I hope everyone enjoys. R&R, even if you hate me!

**It was the day after everything had happened, and I was exhausted. My power felt drained, and it seemed as if I was in a world of my own. Everyone congratulated and thanked me for defeating him, but I felt as if I had done nothing. **

**How could I have done something, if so many died?**

**How could I have done something, if I had lost everything in the process?**

**And how could I go on when everything shattered around me, as I saw them one by one, fall to the ground, lifeless?**

**I can't answer any of these questions. And I can feel it in my heart that I will never be able to. Dumbledore's Army, dead. The Order of the Phoenix, dead. I don't think anyone can replace them. I watched as witches and wizards cast spells to try and start repairing the damage. Everyone tried to smile as I passed, but they couldn't. How could anyone consciously smile after everything that we've been through? **

**Joy, another question to add to the list. **

**My eyes are not the same color anymore. They are brown now. Tom Riddle had green eyes and with him in me, I had his eyes. My hair isn't the same color either. It's red now, just the same as my mother's. But I don't feel as if I deserve to be blessed with her hair, and my father's eyes. **

**They were such good people, and they would probably be ashamed to call me their son if they were alive. **

**So where do I go from here? **

**Should I stay at Hogwarts and finish helping them rebuild it? I don't think I should, as I feel horrible watching parents, teachers, and good people trying to repair this magical place, and then there's me. **

**I'm tainting the good, as I am the opposite. **

**Only evil people could leave everyone to suffer. Only evil people could be selfish and watch as everyone died, as he tried to run, to be cowardice, to betray his friends and family. **

**I've finally lost it. People are staring at statues sadly, as they move it to probably find another body stuffed behind it mercilessly. Probably by a Death Eater, trying to traumatize the living, even in death. **

**I felt like crying, but I don't think I have any tears left to cry. When Ginny, Ron, and Hermione hit the ground, I lost it. I went in a rage and killed him. **

**But it took too long. Tonks was on the stairs; Remus, Minerva, and Filius on the floor of The Great Hall; Hagrid in the middle of the Transfiguration Courtyard; Snape on the steps on the outside of the school, leading to the Entrance Hall. **

**Bill and Fleur were in the lake, as The Dark Lord had imperiused the Giant Squid to drown all of it's victims; Fred, George, Molly, Arthur, Percy, and Charlie Weasley were all victims of the Squid as well. The whole Weasley line almost knocked out, except for Victoire and Hermione's daughter Rose. Hermione was pregnant with her son, 6 months to be exact. **

**And as I remembered every single person, I ran up to the Room of Requirements. With tears in my eyes, I asked the room to put up a picture of every single person that died. The room expanded as several pictures flew up and permanently glued themselves up to the wall. A plaque grew out of the wall.**

"**Here lies the memory of everyone who died unnecessarily in the war against Voldemort. May they all rest in peace."**

**A tear ran down my cheek, and another. Now I knew that I could still cry, that I could still feel human emotions.**

**But was I really deserving of human emotions? I wasn't human, was I?**

**I walked down the many staircases, through the Entrance Hall and I stopped by the doors leading out. I turned around, carved my name in the door, and left without a single glance back. That was the day I left the wizarding world. **

**I changed my name to James Evans, and my hair was now Draco-blonde, my eyes brown as Hermione's. I had a job as a school teacher, and I was content. **

**But everyday, something always reminded me, of the life I once had, and the thoughts I've left behind.**

A/N: Wow, there's a difference from my very shallow work. R&R plz!


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